The Seven Statues of Königsberg
The tourists referred to in this short story written for the “secret game writers club” are the mutinuous members of the club themselves, @VerenaKyratzes iamleyeti @demigiant.
- I will be your guide. I am Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, here to serve you.
- …
- You don’t look impressed. Didn’t you notice my exquisite mastery of the sweet German idiom? I am a so-called “universal” genius. I can solve open problems in any field!
- Examples? Well, what better than my Theory of Colours, Zur Farbenlehre! You must have heard of that.
- “Widely ridiculed by scientists?” “Fails to explain even the simplest cases missing the additive, not subtractive behaviour of colour?”
Well, well, we’d better move on, otherwise, this is not ending well. I may show mercy on the girl (she is pretty and guided by female instincts) but you cocky tall one and even more you phoney bearded one, you’d better be careful about what you say. Hmph. Comprendo?
- Ok, that’s better. Let’s start our walk.
- Here we are about to cross the first bridge. At the bridge’s centre there is a statue of Kant, in a different pose on each bridge, with a different tedious sentence from his writings. It is a local custom that each time one passes in front of the statue, one has to read the sentence. How astonishingly boring!
- Well, I too wonder why his plain sentences and not mine, that are brimming with beauty, if that is what you find bizarre. Anyway let’s get to the heart of the matter, as we have little space left.
In this town there are seven bridges, and a lot of water going here and there. Now given how many paths and connections there are, there surely must be a way of taking fatuous tourist groups like yours through each of the seven bridges passing only once in front of these odd statues and repeating hence only once those ghastly quotes.
Now there is this “philosopher” Leonhard Euler, actually a mere calculator, that with unbearable arrogance holds that it is impossible to do so. His argument, based solely on abstractions and generalizations that only show his lack of imagination (I am often quoted for my beautiful “few people have the imagination for reality”, and this Leon-hard-boned Euler lacks it entirely) goes like this: in order to pass through a bridge only once, one has to land at the end of the bridge and leave using *another* bridge. Drawing circles for landing points, one gets:
So any landing point that is not the start or end of the walk, has to have an even number of bridges ending (or starting) from it in order to enable a unique walkthrough. But, says the pedantic Euler, here the landmasses have an odd number of bridges connected! So for there is no such path. Ha!
This shortsighted method, just like Newton’s, is wrong because it doesn’t consider the nature of the medium. We will approach the problem from the right perspective: by experience and intuition, Aristotetically instead of Platonically. So let’s start this experience. Actually you will: start crossing the bridges, again and again, until you find the right path!
- No? Why not?
- …
- You bearded, your baldness! You seem really unconvinced. It’s so typical of the French spirit, being fascinated by abstraction instead of listening to nature and its deep messages! In this case, I will for sure get help from the woman, with her illogical and pure instinct. No? Well you don’t look that pretty any more.
Maybe you, giant for no sensible reason, a pure waste of biological will to grow?
- I can’t swim. No I’m not joking, I can’t swim! No please don’t!
